Mortified

I have no problem sharing this event from today. Mainly because everyone that has received this story has laughed at my face or via phone/text. I think Beth's still takes the cake.

We all have them. Those hypothetical situations in your head that show you entering a room with a winding staircase and you fall. Getting ready to sing a tune and your voice cracks. Giving a speech and you lose your breakfast/lunch. I had one of my "hypothetical nightmares" happen to me this afternoon. I left work early today to report to the dentist. Something I hate. I do not like not being able to see what they are doing. Along with the noises, it's torture for me. I had a root canal done and then found out 2 weeks later I was pregnant. They don't allow you to go to the dentist till you are in your 2nd trimester so I have been waiting 23 weeks to get a crown molded and on. I walked hunched over and feet dragging into the building. That is when my first sign appeared. My lunch dropped from my stomach to my intestines. I thought it would be a good idea to use the restroom. Just a simple #1 and nothing out of the ordinary. I checked in and was taken back to my doomsday. Second sign, stomach started to cramp. I had a moment of panic but it passed in a matter of seconds. About 45 minutes into the appointment, as we were waiting for the nasty tasting mold crap to form around my teeth, it happened. It came from no where. Like a nuclear bomb. The sweat come in a matter of a half a second, the beads forming on my forehead. I got the chills down my back and arms and my stomach made the ignition noise. I then proceeded to bank a pretty juicy tootsie off the leather dentist chair. Embarrassment washed over me like a hot shower. Sweat started peaking out in places all over. I could feel my face get extremely hot and red and all I wanted to do was crawl into a hole and stay there. It was not just a little one either. It was the kind you laugh at in the bathroom at work because we are still that immature. Of course it wasn't quiet enough for Dr Mark Sloan (not kidding on the name, about 20+ years older then McSteamy on Grey's, but still funny) to hear it. How could you not? It had a neon sign upon arrival with a giant finger point in my direction, blinking "She did it!" I swear it was bouncing off the walls and into the hallway echoing down as it went and finally settling into the waiting room. To comfort me he states: "You know, I heard pregnancy causes extra gas." Thank you. Thank Dr Mark Sloan DDS extraordinaire for making me feel like toe jam. You could have just ignored it. Not said a thing. Been a gentleman about it. No, you had to point it out and then make a comment to rub it in. I then spent the rest of the appointment with my eyes shut and replaying the whole incident in my head and sweating all over again. The smell is best described as rotton broccoli. If it could have a green cloud, it would have. I then had to make another appointment for 2 weeks to get my crown put on and couldn't find any reason to lie to get out of it. Mortified. Let's hope my next appointment doesn't have extra "visitors". Ugh.