It has been a while since I have actually posted a blog about what is going on around here. I have hesitated because it's been a rough couple of days and I feel like there is so much going on at once.

Thursday, Grandma left us to be with her heavenly Father. It was rough to have her go, but we all know she is pain free and happy where she is. She was ready to go even, though it has been hard on all of us. I am one to box my emotions up and then let them erupt when I am alone. I had been doing that fairly well until today.  The visitation was yesterday and we had a great turn out and it was good to see everyone. I know it's the stereotypical phrase but if I hear "I'm sorry for your loss" one more time, I think I might scream! I get in that mode where I don't want to hear people I don't know, walk up to me and say that. It's just awkward for everyone involved. I understand people want to express their sadness and condolences and I know my grandma had a lot of people that loved her. I just hate awkward conversations. Today, ugh. I disliked it and yet loved it. I loved being around my family but I was not prepared for this. I have had my grandparents on my dad's side pass away. My grandma's was extremely hard. Today was, well even worse. First off, my dad sang. I love when my dad sings but when he sings in these situations...I cry even more. I couldn't even look at him. A family member sent this birdhouse with flowers and I just stared at it the whole time. Second, we sang my favorite hymn. "How Great Thou Art" has always been my favorite since I can remember and I blubbered my way through it. It was brutal. I have that thing memorized and yet I seem to have lost all memory of the words during the funeral.The pastor, he now was amazing as usual. His message was on point and summed up my grandma perfectly. He really got to the core of who she was. After the service we headed to the burial. I will say I felt a little odd attending a funeral on Halloween but again, the words spoken were perfection. We returned for a lunch put on by the church and had some fellowship. All in all, it was a great funeral and everything we could have asked for and more. It was hard to say goodbye, but we all know she is in a better place and is pain free. I am sure these emotions will creep up on me at random times but it seems to be easier to think about grandma without tears streaming down the my face. I will always cherish the memories, time, and love that my grandma gave me.

Onto the next thing. My dad's surgery is Thursday. I am someone that always thinks the worst. I don't know if I do it so that if something does happen, it doesn't come as a shock, or if I just do it to psych myself out. I'm not sure. I know I'm stressed out and there is so much more but I will not go into detail on it because I'm not in the mood to upset myself!

Halloween was pretty rushed and probably on the bottom of our list this year. We did go to mom and dads, the boys went trick-or-treating, and candy was ate. We did the big 3 things on the list! The boys looked utterly adorable and they had a blast. I will post photos when I get to downloading them! I feel like there isn't enough time in the day currently.

I do want to say Thank You to all my friends that have been there for me these past few months and especially this week. The flowers, meals, cards, calls, drop ins, talks, emails....I am so grateful. It's truly humbling. Thank you for your love and support. I do not know where I would be without you all. You have been my rocks over the past few months.