It has been a while since I have actually posted a blog about what is going on around here. I have hesitated because it's been a rough couple of days and I feel like there is so much going on at once.

Thursday, Grandma left us to be with her heavenly Father. It was rough to have her go, but we all know she is pain free and happy where she is. She was ready to go even, though it has been hard on all of us. I am one to box my emotions up and then let them erupt when I am alone. I had been doing that fairly well until today.  The visitation was yesterday and we had a great turn out and it was good to see everyone. I know it's the stereotypical phrase but if I hear "I'm sorry for your loss" one more time, I think I might scream! I get in that mode where I don't want to hear people I don't know, walk up to me and say that. It's just awkward for everyone involved. I understand people want to express their sadness and condolences and I know my grandma had a lot of people that loved her. I just hate awkward conversations. Today, ugh. I disliked it and yet loved it. I loved being around my family but I was not prepared for this. I have had my grandparents on my dad's side pass away. My grandma's was extremely hard. Today was, well even worse. First off, my dad sang. I love when my dad sings but when he sings in these situations...I cry even more. I couldn't even look at him. A family member sent this birdhouse with flowers and I just stared at it the whole time. Second, we sang my favorite hymn. "How Great Thou Art" has always been my favorite since I can remember and I blubbered my way through it. It was brutal. I have that thing memorized and yet I seem to have lost all memory of the words during the funeral.The pastor, he now was amazing as usual. His message was on point and summed up my grandma perfectly. He really got to the core of who she was. After the service we headed to the burial. I will say I felt a little odd attending a funeral on Halloween but again, the words spoken were perfection. We returned for a lunch put on by the church and had some fellowship. All in all, it was a great funeral and everything we could have asked for and more. It was hard to say goodbye, but we all know she is in a better place and is pain free. I am sure these emotions will creep up on me at random times but it seems to be easier to think about grandma without tears streaming down the my face. I will always cherish the memories, time, and love that my grandma gave me.

Onto the next thing. My dad's surgery is Thursday. I am someone that always thinks the worst. I don't know if I do it so that if something does happen, it doesn't come as a shock, or if I just do it to psych myself out. I'm not sure. I know I'm stressed out and there is so much more but I will not go into detail on it because I'm not in the mood to upset myself!

Halloween was pretty rushed and probably on the bottom of our list this year. We did go to mom and dads, the boys went trick-or-treating, and candy was ate. We did the big 3 things on the list! The boys looked utterly adorable and they had a blast. I will post photos when I get to downloading them! I feel like there isn't enough time in the day currently.

I do want to say Thank You to all my friends that have been there for me these past few months and especially this week. The flowers, meals, cards, calls, drop ins, talks, emails....I am so grateful. It's truly humbling. Thank you for your love and support. I do not know where I would be without you all. You have been my rocks over the past few months.

Get use to it

You are going to have to get through the next 22 days with me. I have two things that are making me like a 16 year old girl screaming for Justin Bieber. 1) Harry Potter comes out to purchase on 11.11.11. I am completely stoked about this. Thanks to ABC Family, I have never had to purchase these. That is, until, November 11th. Then they will ALL be mine. 2) Breaking Dawn. Book 4 is what us Twi-Hards have waited years for. I am as excited about this as I was about HP 7 pt 2. I cannot wait and the excitement is starting to boil over. November 17th-18th will be amazing. I super pumped and I can't express into words how giddy I will be the day of. Today Christina Perri, who I love, released her music video for the soundtrack. I cried. The song in itself is amazing. The words. I didn't watch the video the first 3 times, just listened to the song. Love it. Cannot wait for this soundtrack to hit iTunes.

Ok, everyone who knows me, knows that I am a music junkie. I spend entirely way too much money in iTunes every week and even get up extra early to download an album and burn it on to a CD before I leave for work at 5:45. This week my purchases included Coldplay's new album, which is in one word, phenomenal! I also picked up Michael Buble's holiday album. I'm a sucker for Christmas and Michael Buble, so don't hate. I also purchased Kelly Clarkson's pipes. I have loved Kelly since the first season of AI and voted for her all the way through. I just adore this girl. This album did not disappoint for me at all. Most of the songs are upbeat but she does belt it out. One song in particular is slowly creeping up to my "most played list". Which, if you have seen my iPod is a challenge in itself. I have over 7000 songs and they are OCD organized. My current top 5 played are: 1) "Imma Be" by BEP which was our summer jam in 2010. 2) Kristin Chenoweth and Idina Menzel for "Popular" from Wicked. 3) "Me and Mrs Jones" by Michael Buble. MB...enough said. 4) "The Stand" by Hillsong and a three way tie for 5) Britney Spears "Till the World Ends (remix), Kristin Chenoweth and Idina Menzel in "What Is This Feeling" and "Fix You" by Coldplay. I think there is a 25 way tie for slot 6. The top five have been played over the three digit marks, and I mean, the high 3 digit marks. I have only had this iPod for 2 years. Anyways. This song has a power in it and a message that even though, I'm not experiencing heart break from a man, I could change some of the words to adjust to other situations in my life. It is immediately going on my work out playlist and will be played for those last couple of miles to keep me going! Has a way to just push you through anything. I admit, I rocked out to this one night on my way home from dinner with a friend. Windows down and all.

You know the bed feels warmer
Sleeping here alone
You know I dream in colour
And do the things I want
You think you got the best of me
Think you had the last laugh
Bet you think that everything good is gone
Think you left me broken down
Think that I'd come running back
Baby you don't know me, cause you're dead wrong

What doesn't kill you makes you stronger
Stand a little taller
Doesn't mean I'm lonely when I'm alone
What doesn't kill you makes a fighter
Footsteps even lighter
Doesn't mean I'm over cause you're gone
What doesn't kill you makes you stronger, stronger
 Just me, myself and I
hat doesn't kill you makes you stronger
Stand a little taller
Doesn't mean I'm lonely when I'm alone

You heard that I was starting over with someone new
But told you I was moving on over you
You didn't think that I'd come back I'd come back swinging
You tried to break me, but you see

What doesn't kill you makes you stronger
Stand a little taller
Doesn't mean I'm lonely when I'm alone
What doesn't kill you makes a fighter
Footsteps even lighter
Doesn't mean I'm over cause you're gone
What doesn't kill you makes you stronger, stronger
Just me, myself and I
What doesn't kill you makes you stronger
Stand a little taller
Doesn't mean I'm lonely when I'm alone

Thanks to you I got a new thing started
Thanks to you I'm not a broken hearted
Thanks to you I'm finally thinking bout me
You know in the end the day you left was just my beginning In the end...

What doesn't kill you makes you stronger
Stand a little taller
Doesn't mean I'm lonely when I'm alone
What doesn't kill you makes a fighter
Footsteps even lighter
Doesn't mean I'm over cause you're gone
What doesn't kill you makes you stronger, stronger
Just me, myself and I
What doesn't kill you makes you stronger
Stand a little taller
Doesn't mean I'm lonely when I'm alone

Go To

I started writing this multiple times but have been side tracked every time. I have a "go to" song. It has been there for me through deaths, horrible days, life challenging moments, times where I think the world is on my shoulders, when I feel like I can't get any lower in low, and where I feel like there is no light at the end of the tunnel. I will say, I have not been at these lows often but it's happened a handful of times. I have cried many of times to this musical number. We all have a song, that when we hear it, it strikes a chord. I will not lie, I have a few of them, but this one, from the moment I heard it in 2005 on the X  & Y album, it was mine. I remember seeing them in concert and just could not contain the tears. Something about having this song sung live, where the audience kicks in and sings along, yanks at those chords again. On the last episode of Glee, Mr Shue took on the task of singing this song. The second the intro began, I was done. Tears just started streaming down my face. The story line and the montage of the song did not help either. I just had to share it. Thanks to Fox, the only good quality video from Glee has Spanish subtitles! Oh well, still doesn't take away from the song. I also attached one of my favorite live performances of this song. I have had it in my favorites since 2007.

I also am completely excited for their new album in 2 weeks!

October...what?

I have no idea where the last month has gone. We have been so busy that I cannot get over how fast that month flew by. Between campfires, pumpkin patch visits, chili nights, birthday parties, walks, playing outdoors, movie nights, family time, traveling, it has disappeared. I think October is going to be our "catch up" month. Basically the last month before insanity starts from November through February. My calendar is slowly...okay quickly filling up. No giant news on the home front. Jax is still walking around and is almost 26lbs! Help us all. He is off the charts for height and weight. At least he is walking around and is very active. He is always happy and loves to play peek-a-boo and so big! He is not into baby toys and loves any sort of train or truck. Jake is, well, Jake. Not much going on with him. Enjoying the outdoors and evenings with friends. He's been getting into Disney movies so we have been renting/buying one a week and having family night on Wednesday so he can watch them. He was into Toy Story and Cars but we got out the classics. He is now super excited for the Lion King to come out on DVD this week. It is my favorite movie as well so I'm extra excited!

We have been baking quite a bit. Breads and goodies. We made a giant batch of apple cider last week and it was AMAZING. I love apple cider. We also got an amazing recipe from Jana for the Carmel Apple Cider drink from Starbucks. Takes exactly like it. Super excited we can now have that treat 24/7 and not have to pay a ton for it throughout this season! I also will say I finally tried my first PSL. The first time I had it, it was pretty good. The second time, horrible. I was told to beware that sometimes you can get a bad one in a batch of good. At least I can say I tried it.

My mission this week: Find Jake and Jax costumes for Halloween. I already know what Jake wants to be but I'm not sure what to make the little one. Someone mentioned Godzilla....that may work! He does roar a lot!