Another "Sarah" moment for the books

I am on a roll. There must be a dark cloud hanging above my head. That or God really gets a good laugh out of me every once and a while. Today was no exception.

Hidden warnings that were trying to alert me:

1) Pants: I was regularly pulling up my pants today. Not all the time but after I stood up from sitting, or maybe after walking from the parking garage to my desk. Just every once and a while not constantly. This should not be happening due to the fact that I am 7 months pregnant and look like I'm hoarding a pumpkin.

2) Weather: Rain and wind. As Des Moines seems to be climbing more up the Seattle type forecast, today's weather should not have bothered nor affected me. I love rainy, cooler days. I like them more when I am at home but I embrace them. I even had my umbrella handy and was good to go. I as an overachiever in that aspect!

Event:

I got off work around my normal time. Ferry had left for the day early because he had "things to do". (Right). I pressed the elevator button and the door opened wide and I walked in with a few colleagues from my floor. We continued down the 5 levels, picking up Nationwiders anxiously waiting to bust through the freedom doors. All was the same. Nothing unusual. After riding the carnival ride we call our "revolving door", I opened the main door and headed out. The wind was pretty strong. I would say in the range of about 20-30 mph. I had my purse over my left shoulder and was holding my umbrella with my right hand. After crossing the street, I kept on my track of walking to the parking garage. That is when it happened. Out of nowhere and in a second. Three things happened simultaneously:

1) The wind picked up and started to take my umbrella up in the air

2) I released my left hand that was on my purse to reach up to get two hands on my umbrella so it didn't blow away

3) Due to raising my hands above my head, my pants decided to slide down to my knees.

There you have it, my wonderful moment of the day: de-panted via wind. I had a reaction like a cheetah. Quick on my feet. I lowered my umbrella over my exposed granny panties (hey, I'm 7 months pregnant people) and kept walking the 6-7 feet to the camera store. Under and behind their canopy, I pulled up my pants as fast as I could and walked back out into the rain with one hand on my umbrella and the other holding up my pants. My purse of course was barely hanging on and if another gust of wind came by surprise, I probably would have fallen over. Once I got into the parking garage, I literally ran up the flight of stairs to my car. My face was hot. I could feel how red it was. The embarrassment was plain as day on my face. After I got to my car I was able to assess the damage. There were roughly 5-8 people walking behind me that were there to witness my misfortune. Luckily for me, I did not look back after my incident. Not to mention the crew of people that Nationwide causes them so much stress and hatred to smoke their lives away in the alley, they were all witnesses as well. My underwear aka granny panties were soaked. This then made for the lovely assumption that others probably had that hadn't seen what had happened that I peed my pants. I had a perfect wet spot on the back of my pants. My hair was soaked because I decided to cover up my unprotected behind instead of my head for that 6-7 feet. My socks were drenched through my wet shoes. I was a mess. I finally got into my car and had to turn the seat warmers on to thaw out my backside. I still had rain running down by back and I could feel it settling into a pool of water in my butt crack. At that point, I might as well have been struck by lightning to add the cherry on top of the cake. I immediately picked up the phone and called Jos, who was still at work. I am so glad that I was able to get her to laugh that much. Job well done on my part! I had to call Jana and a few others to let them know of the wonderful luck that I have! Every single one of them could not stop laughing. Glad I can bring joy to peoples lives through my mishaps. Maybe that is my destiny!

Now I am home, my backside is still freezing cold and Michael is still laughing. The only upside to this is that Grey's starts tonight. I am not looking forward to walking into work tomorrow. I can see it now: the security guards looking for the 'Nationwide Flasher' or the people behind me giving me weird looks at work. I didn't see who they were but I will know by their facial expressions tomorrow if they saw what happened. I have my eyes on all of you!